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No, it's more than frustrated... I am mad. I want to just scream! I went to a first birthday party last weekend. It was for my friend's son. My friend is less than fortunate and doesn't live in a very good neighborhood, really. So of course, all the people there were also from the ghetto. All of them had at least 2 kids. I'm not saying that poor people have less of a right to have children than people who can afford to provide the essentials (though I am sure to some, that is debatable). I am saying it's bullshit that this particular group of people at the party clearly didn't want them and can have them! They weren't paying attention to the children at all. The children were dirty, and not just from the day. And what really chaps my ass is that they didn't even have to TRY to get pregnant. "It was an accident." ::Sigh::

I received the dreaded phone call yesterday from the nurse that even on my 4th round of clomid and my highest dose yet (150mg), I STILL didn't ovulate... This time it was more crushing than the others. I can't decide if it's because it's official that the clomid isn't working and we're on to more drastic steps or if it's because I really REALLY had myself convinced that this was it - I was going to be pregnant! Maybe a combination of both...

Today the dr. should be calling with the next steps. I guess I'm hoping I am strong enough to take them...


May. 19th, 2010 03:05 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry that this weekend was so hard for you :( I remember how devastating failed rounds of Clomid could be. And as I recall, Clomid wreaked havoc on my emotions and made me much more prone to being sad and angry :( But just remember that you never know what their stories are. I'm sure someone could say similar things about me, because I want my kid to be independent and don't mind if she gets dirty and doesn't get a bath for a day or two... but you'd never know from a birthday party that I struggled to conceive for three years, and miscarried twins. It's impossible to know for sure what someone's story is, and I know that we all make judgments about other peoples' parenting, but just try to be thankful that you're not poor, that any pregnancy you have is going to be much desired, that you will be great parent, and that you have the resources to afford not only rounds of Clomid, but a child when the time comes. I know it's nearly impossible to be thankful for these things when you're struggling through infertility, but I've had friends who couldn't even afford Clomid who are still struggling with infertility, too. Anyway, just take care of yourself- I used to avoid baby showers and baby birthday parties because they were just too hard. I bet they would have been even worse while on Clomid... so be gentle with yourself. There's no reason to put yourself in situations that are going to stir up unhappy emotions if you can avoid them.


Trying to Conceive w/ PCOS

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